Maybe you can help figure out what this means for Team Small Dog.

When the alarm went off this morning, I was still having this epic dream that involved a creepy psychic performance art punk rock cult in Utah where I had been sort of kidnapped with my consent after wandering into this Latina show girl’s horse training hovel where her horses could do stuff like ride bikes wearing Louis Vuitton graffiti prints and slide down her driveway on their stomachs.

Turns out, the horses were the fire squad for the cult.

I know!

Anyways, the big dream problem was, I had left the dogs in a hotel with my mom and dad. Oh no. And not just any hotel, a dusty, post armageddon one in San Francisco that was nearly abandonded, but for an old diner on one floor with leftover sandwich fixings.

What was I dream thinking? And there I am, having been removed from the San Francisco in a driverless car with doors that had no inside handles, all the way to Utah, thinking, oh man. What are my poor mom and dad going to do with THE DOGS?