Steve McQueen would never, ever have been as bad of a host as Gustavo was today.


This is Captain. She came to visit. Gustavo was the world’s worst host. Normally, he is all sweetness and light, unicorns and fuzzy underpants. A hostess with the mostess. Not to Captain.


Look at that face. Come on. Why would anyone be mean to Captain? I offer my guests things to drink. We have water at my house, and we have beer. I do not ever chase them off to the deck making horrible little monkey scream sounds and make them hide behind a chair. Also I am pretty sure Steve McQueen never did this to his guests. Prince probably never did this to his guests. Otterpop doesn’t even do this to guests. Only Gustavo.