Organization is not one of my strong points. Neither is vampire slaying. Or balancing multiple cans of Fresca on my head. There are just some things some people are better at than others. You want to hear me sing along with every single song on Black Mountain’s Drugonaut EP? Done! A strong point! Folding laundry? Shamefully poor.

Usually when I travel, it involves throwing everything from the dryer into one of my many totes, putting some dog food in a ziploc, and throwing the dogs in the back of the car. We’re good. We’re so down with that. The toothbrush is somewhere, and who needs a hairbrush? Boots go with everything, and there should be a spare pair of sneakers under the seat.

But we’re going to Kentucky. Daniel Boone drinking mint juleps. On an aeroplane. Foreign territory. This has to involve packing. And a suitcase with limited space. Can one take off boots to get through security and hold an Otterpop and a computer at the same time? There are compromises here. If I can find a midnight ghost tour of a haunted plantation house, are plaid slip on Vans appropriate footwear? Do top competitors go out drinking at night in skirts not skorts or do they retire to their non-sleazy motels at an early hour to get enough sleep to run their best the next day?

These are things we don’t know. Making packing a quandry. Can sporty pants be worn out in public? Could I exist for a week in Kentucky without my security boots? What if John Doe is on my airplane and I’m wearing fleece? What if there’s a super cool wardrobe code that top dog agility competitors all have and that you need the secret handshake to get the pdf?

Righty-o. So you know what you can’t really go wrong with? Whatever was in the dryer and a black Small Fast Kick Yer Ass Shirt. Goes with everything. I’ll be easy to spot. Just look for the wrinkles.