We’ve all heard of these so called Tea Parties.

Probably it was wrong to buy Otterpop her own monogrammed china pattern. It had these little teacups.

She has this thing now about Southern hospitality, ya’all, and wanted to have a little tea party. For her little doggie friends.

I didn’t make them handmade Halloween costumes. Hell. I locked ’em up in the back bedroom when the trickertreaters came by. More candy, less barking.

I will tell you this right now, too. They didn’t even use real tea. Goddamn Otterpop used up all our coffee. Our fair trade, picked by glove wearing, sunscreened, union members of a worker’s cooperative paid fair wages picking organic coffee beans roasted in a wholesome environment.

What a mess it was.

This always happens in November.