So I was at a dog show this weekend. Pretty much a dog show like all the others. Get up at dark o’clock and blast Pink Floyd in the dark car, drinking coffee the whole way to get there in time to make sure the trash cans are all lined up in a row. Something about my new car makes me want to listen to classic rock. Of the heavy metal variety. And Elton John. It’s super weird. But I’m just going with it.

My new car has fancy speakers that I can turn all the way up to the front so the dogs don’t have to have the Pink Floyd. You know how it can get weird and squirmy sounding, and super loud? We do that in the front of the car so the dogs can have less squirming in the back.

In case you were worried about Otterpop and Pink Floyd, together.

Pretty much all day, dog show dog show dog show. Some runs good, some runs ok. Gustavo did a table, many perfect weave poles, picked up a superQ, had a huge meltdown in jumpers, did a blatant, feral blind cross behind me to go in a tunnel. Otterpop had some fast startlines, a slow one where she had a sticker in her foot, missed a dogwalk contact, didn’t get the gamble.

Need I go on? Not really a bad day, just one of those days where we’re still not running like champions. Not running crappy, but just not like the champions like we’ve been trying to be.

Something is still lost in the translation from practice to perfect. It is probably in the same place I always put my car keys every night. And my sunglasses. The mysterious void of I don’t know where and somebody with excellent finding skills is going to unlose it.

We were going to try AGAIN at getting Otterpop’s long lost pairs run. My non dog agility friends, this is a class where you run with a friend and you take turns carrying the stick around and running just half a course then handing your friend the stick and capturing your dog before it chases the other dog around.

It’s sort of dumb.

And because I think things like that, I was struck down with a curse that started years ago, when every single one of my partners in Masters Pairs got an E. Like ran off course. On a course with only like 8 things. No pairs Q’s for her since 2008.

2008. George Bush was president, and I liked that movie where Daniel Day Lewis freaks out about drinking the milkshakes while he’s flopping around on the floor of the mansion’s bowling alley. Timmy Best Dog died. And Otterpop got her last pairs Q. I took a break from pairs somewhere just because. And then somewhere along the line, either me or USDAA lost one. And when I started to run it again so she could finish her ADCh, Otterpop started cursing all her partners into E’ing. Elimination. Electrocution. Ebola. EEEEEEEE.

The problem with pairs, your friend goes off course, you’re drug along down with them. Usually it’s no big deal, but it does start to get weird when you do the math and realize, OMG. All these good handlers who never E, they E when they run with Otterpop.

So this weekend, one more try. Poor Otterpop. She doesn’t like to jump 12″. It’s too high for a stumpy dog with a hinky leg. This time we were going to try it with my friend Ashley and his dog Luka. They are known to be very fast (long legs) and quite consistent (excellent barking). If Ashley received a Q on this run, he would get a Platinum ADCh, which is like the fancy Championship thing I wanted for Otterpop except his needed something like a million Q’s.

Ashley is a lot better than I am at running like a champion.

So off we went. Our pressures were on. The course was a bit tricky. Otterpop’s bit didn’t look too bad aside from the gnarly turn on to the teeter totter, Luka’s bit had a very tricky turn into the weave poles. We watched a lot of dogs wipe out on it before our turn.

Otterpop actually enjoys pairs, because the handler carries a swimstick. It’s really a plastic baton, but long ago I told her it was a swim stick and she still believes me, even though no pairs run has ever ended with the stick thrown into the river. Off she went, right to the ugly turn onto the teeter, nailed the tunnel discrimination, a turn here and there, and ran to the end. I handed off the stick to Ashley, and off they went. Blasted off the startline. Right towards the off course jump.

I couldn’t watch. Shut my eyes hard and just thought, The Curse. Now we’ve done it. We’ve cursed Luka. The last thing I saw was arm flailing and I could hear LUKA LUKA LUKA and I knew that was it. Another partner, back in time to 2008.

The crowd was going wild. No way was I going to even peek. Just standing there on the grass like a moron, one hand holding onto my dog and one hand slapped across my forehead.

But when I opened up my eyes, and there they were. They made it.

So now, maybe I’m not a champion, but Otterpop is. Congratulations to ADCh Otterpop. Otterpop doesn’t care a lick. But I do. And Congratulations to Platinum ADCh Luka. And a big thank you to Ashley, I dunno what he did to get her into those weave poles, but whatever it did, it worked.

So, the next day I ran Championship pairs one last time with JD and Tantrum. Just to check and see. You know. If the curse was still there.

We Q’ed. Easy. No problem, JD and Tantrum sailed through without a bobble.

Life is weird. Like Elton John sang, “Levon sells cartoon balloons in town. His family business thrives. Jesus blows up balloons all day.”

Like, what are you trying to SAY, Elton John, in your classic rock voice? Will we ever know?

What I do know, Otterpop never has to jump another 12″ jump again.