I have found Otterpop’s unicorns and rainbows, and I believe they shine down from the cult of satellite radio.


My new car came with a nifty touchscreen radio and a free subscription to satellite radio. Tiny spaceships beam down carefully segregated radio shows full of custom selected programming aimed at you. No matter who you are. You love Bruce Springsteen? You get the Bruce channel. Want 24/7 advice on sewing your own slipcovers? Martha is there for you. How about carefully curated fluorescent hits from the ’80’s? The spaceship knows exactly what you listened to back when your Guess jeans had ankle zips and your bangs went straight up towards the heavens. The list goes on and on.

I hadn’t much pushed these bountiful radio buttons yet til last week. I was so happy to have my old friend ipod back with me in the car, and was marveling much at the miracle of more than one speaker. I drive a lot, and my good friend ipod is always there to keep me company. Black Mountain’s Drugonaut, now in stereo, sends me straight to my happy place and helps me weather stops at Trader Joe’s and backups on Highway 1.

So I was thinking maybe Otterpop needed a happy place of her very own, perhaps one so very much her own that it didn’t even live in my ipod. She’s been doing well, coming back to planet good citizen, and maybe this would be some extra added bonus brain reprogramming. Certainly worth a try.

First we went with the Outlaw country station. A lot of George Jones and Johnny Cash, which makes me happy and singalongy, but maybe not what Otterpop needed.

The heavy metal classic rock station, lots of Steppenwolf and soothing Led Zeppelin. Ever tried sitting in heated seats and staring out the moonroof during your Led Zeppelin? I sure do love my new car. But Pink Floyd just isn’t the key to reprogramming Otterpop.

There’s a whole hair bands of the ’80’s station. Much Bon Jovi, Van Halen, and anyone else who wore the spandex trousers. Excellent for karaoke training. But not for Otterpop’s mental health.

There’s a bunch of electronica and rap. Didn’t even go there. Not radio stations for station wagons full of dogs.

Then I found it. I think we’ve struck Otterpop gold. Even the name sounds melty. The Bridge. Classic mellow hits of the ’70’s. I tuned to it first with a finger punch of irony. Songs that are deeply embedded in my psyche, likely from my little fifth grade transistor radio or driving around in the carpool. Chicago. Hall and Oates. Gordon Lightfoot. Jim Croce. Bread. James Taylor. It gets really wild with the Eagles and Elton John.

But here’s the thing. It’s like valium streaming through your brain waves. Billy Joel. Fleetwood Mac. Good god. Hall and Oates? It freaks me out more than just a little, but who knew Otterpop just needed a healthy dose of AM radio lite from 1975?

I just hope the cult doesn’t get to me. I guess we’ll find out.