This happened. It was unexpected. It was more than I ever imagined. Or planned for. Kind of like everything about moving up here, to the north and off the coast. To the Central.

I was expecting light dustings after Thanksgiving. I was going to trim tree branches and revel in autumn and wear a jacket. Instead, I had on the job pioneer training. Driving out the garage with ice. Blustery snow blowing while I crept down the road. How cold it is training in the arena. How dark it is.

Is it more than I bargained for? Kind of like the $200 water bill, or the overcharge for internet because the tv works different now. Or the husband who can’t drive or speak anymore. Because I took us away from my income and shorts and palm trees, and packed us up here to the tundra. Because the light was stunning and there weren’t 5 houses staring onto our patio of a backyard, because I had nowhere to walk around without people.

Was it the right trade off? Asking for a friend. Right now, 2 weeks in, without a snow blower and not sure when the right time to shovel the driveway is, not sure. Very not sure. Keeping me up at night not sure. Keeping me up wondering can I find help for Gary not sure, will I have enough students to make enough money not sure, how do we drive back to California like all my plans say we do all the time, especially since I had to sell back the new camper because of the not enough income yet problem.

Storm is predicted to come in next week again. Everyone’s excited! More snow! Just like the old days! This is how it used to be! My eyes go wide like saucers. Really big saucers. I guess we’ll see what the old days were like? Like when pioneers died trying to get the wagon wheel unstuck out of the blizzard, and were eaten by the wolves. The good old days.